This year, as we edge closer to the end of one cycle and the beginning of another, we may be feeling a wide range of emotions. From excitement to dread to fear to openness to resistance, contemplation, nostalgia, determination, sadness, joy and everything in between. A new year means letting go of time which is past, moments which are lost, experiences which will never come back, relationships that were once the foundation of our world. It means taking a step closer to our own morality. It also means making space for time which has not been spent, moments we have not yet found, experiences we may have never thought possible and relationships upon which we can build new foundations.
Naturally, during this time, our thoughts and energies are turned towards what we are letting go and what we would like to bring in. Our attention is led towards planning for what is coming and facilitating the possibility of things for which we are hopeful. This can be a daunting task in light of the fact that we can never truly know what to expect. However, there are ways to gain insight which give us the upper hand during transition.
One way we can do that is through a numerological process of adding the numbers of the new year together until we get a single digit number. Numbers are not just symbols that track time and quantities, they are ancient symbols which hold much deeper meaning. Since we are entering 2022, 2+0+2+2= 6. In numerology the number 6 represents love, devotion and partnerships and the corresponding major arcana card for that number is, unsurprisingly, The Lovers. This gives us meaningful insight into the theme, the energies and the lessons we can expect to guide our trajectory in the coming year.
Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now, having a Lovers year does not mean that we will all find our eternal soul mate and fall in love and live happily ever after. At best that would be a lazy interpretation and at worst it would be an irresponsible and predatory message. The Lovers, although very much rooted in relationships, sincere love and connection has a much deeper and rich meaning in our lives, in our paths and in our spirituality.
Through The Lovers card, we begin to explore the nature of duality. The concept that the self and the body, the self and the mind, the self and the soul are in fact separate entities which are connected but not the same. We begin to explore the many expressions and iterations of the self and accept them all as valid even and especially when they are in contradiction with each other.
Duality means that I am all things in one and that each version of me is true despite the fact that those truths often contradict each other. Thus, the year of The Lovers means the opportunity to develop a deeper, more radical place of self-realization and self-acceptance. We can expect to be faced with surprising and polarizing new truths about ourselves which are both beautiful and terrible but equally valid and necessary to self-actualization.
One concept of duality which may be familiar to you is the concept of the shadow self and the higher self. The shadow self tends to deal more in primal issues and painful truths, or to put it differently, our human self, whereas the higher self tends to work from the perspective of spirit. These two selves can be in conflict with each other, each vying for authority or, they can work in harmony with each other, each doing the tasks which are in their jurisdiction, each doing the work necessary to make a well balanced, healthy individual. After all, we are not just human, and we are not just spirit. In this lifetime, we are both and both must be honored, cared for and in balance with one another.
The greatest challenge in the year of The Lovers is not to face our darkness but to face our light, to become empowered, to take on a purpose that has massive impact.
Gaining a deeper knowledge of duality means becoming more capable of achieving that balance. We cannot keep our darkness in check if we underestimate it just as we cannot live to our highest potential and purpose if we underestimate what we are truly capable of. This means that we will be asked to face ourselves wholly. But make no mistake, accepting the fullness of our light is perhaps even more terrifying than accepting the dark. One of my favorite quotes is by Marianne Williamson which goes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”.
To be large, to take up space, to be powerful, to have something of value to offer the world is a great responsibility and it often feels safer to be small, unassuming, to blend in and to reject what makes us special. The greatest challenge in the year of The Lovers is not to face our darkness but to face our light, to become empowered, to take on a purpose that has massive impact. The Lovers card more than anything else is about finding your heart's true purpose, something that ignites your passion and gives meaning to your days and weeks and years.
In our culture we have painted romantic relationships as the ultimate example of passion and purpose and certainly they can be a great source of those things but that is not the whole story. We have so much more to offer the world than what is given in the context of romance. But what if we took that same passion, energy, commitment, sense of self and shared it with the world around us? What then would be possible?
It is not just within us that duality presents itself. The nature of duality is also reflected back to us through our relationships with others through a process called mirroring. Mirroring happens when the self is reflected to us through the other (or through another person).
This can happen two ways, the first is when we are confronted with our own behaviors, actions, strengths, weaknesses, by seeing another person play them out in ways that either infuriate or thrill us. The second is when the other is not displaying behavior that belongs to us but rather triggering us so that we can reflect on the way we are reacting to that particular trigger.
In both cases we are being shown to ourselves so that we can both celebrate ourselves and bring healing where it is needed. The most beautiful and painful of all our personal relationships are mirrors into the deepest parts of who we are. We are drawn to those who possess that which needs attention in ourselves. The dark and the light in each of us is clearly and perfectly reflected in the unions we create. The self and the other are intrinsically connected. When we know this, the measure of love we give and receive is multiplied beyond measure.
In this process, judgment is the enemy. In this process there is no “right” or “wrong '' there is only what is. What is can always be adjusted if necessary but not through judgment and harsh indictments, only through identifying the wound and healing it on purpose.
However, it is important to note that duality is not a syndrome which requires fixing. There is in fact nothing to fix. We are equal parts light and dark, we are human and spirit, we are primal and intuitive, we are fire and water, we are earth and air. We find through mirroring that only our perspective can assign the right and the wrong. We are here to have a human experience as a spiritual being and no two beings are having the same experience, not even yourself and your higher self.
Through this lesson we begin to truly see each other, we begin to truly gain compassion and in that way, we are all The Lovers, connecting to and loving the other as they are. All things have a right to and must exist in order for everything to work and for evolution to be possible. We can make a judgment about whether or not something is right or good for us as individuals without assigning a judgment about whether or not something is right or wrong as an ultimate truth.
Rather than seeing things in absolutes we will be challenged to allow various shades of gray to define the vast complexity of what is so that we can achieve acceptance and therefore deeper love.
The Lovers among so many other things is about being seen, truly seen as you are and loved fully for that truth.
The Lovers among so many other things is about being seen, truly seen as you are and loved fully for that truth. But one thing cannot happen without the other. You cannot be fully loved and fully seen by others if you cannot first do that with yourself. You cannot be fully seen and loved by others if you are unwilling or unable to view others from the same place of love and acceptance.
When faced with these lessons humans will be split into two categories, those who integrate the lesson and those who dig in and refuse, which you choose will determine the unions you choose, and that choice will be reflected back to you. This will be a year that our capacity to give and receive love is either multiplied or divided depending on the way we respond to these lessons as they present themselves.
This leads me to the next part of what The Lovers has to teach us which is about choices and temptation. Often, we think of the ultimate lover or soul mate as something fated, something so set in stone we could not possibly refuse but this is not the truth. The truth is that all relationships are the result of choices and the most romantic and moving aspect of The Lovers is the act of choosing one another.
This is not about a choice which is made one time in one moment but a choice which is made over and over and over again despite new truths, new challenges, new pain, new disappointments, new options and yes, new temptations. The Lovers card does not say “Do you choose this person” and accept our “Yes” as permanent but rather returns over and over to say “What about now? What about now? What about now?” for eternity.
I am not simply talking about romantic partnerships but friendships, familial relationships, business partnerships, our relationship with ourselves, our goals and our commitments to our dreams.
The Lovers card is the card that reminds us that each moment is a chance to change our minds, to betray or keep our agreements, to continue in our resolution or to be waylaid by other options. Sometimes the choice to change our mind is rooted in our greatest good and the wellbeing of that with which we have made a commitment and sometimes it is a betrayal of ourselves, our commitments and what we truly want.
We will be faced this year with myriad options designed to either put us on a new path towards our hearts true purpose or to reinforce the choices we have already made. It is of the utmost importance that we approach this year vigilant, that we consider each new option, each temptation through the lens of what we truly want and to ensure that our choices support that desire.
Remember as we move through the coming year that a lapse in judgment or an unsound decision does not have to be the end of all things but again, it forces us into choices. When mistakes are made which do not align with your heart's desire and your greatest purpose, how will you choose to handle it? Will you take responsibility and take the necessary steps to get back on course or will you justify your decisions beyond the point of no return?
It can be very tempting to opt for immediate satisfaction and short-term comfort when things get messy and hard, but those choices lead us away from our path, not towards it. This is an essential moment in our process if we truly wish to have not just loving, healthy, fulfilling relationships but also if we wish to progress towards our purpose and our passion.
As individuals, the year of The Lovers offers intense focus on putting us on our hearts path, on finding our great passion and stepping into our power but the way there is no simple task.
There are no ungifted people, there are no powerless people, there are no people who do not have a purpose. There are those who have answered the call and those who have not.
While the way may be painful though, it is not as painful as staying stagnant. It is not as painful as playing small. It is not as painful as betraying yourself. There are blessings beyond measure on the other side of these difficult lessons.
In knowing what to expect in the year ahead we can prepare ourselves, we can put ourselves in alignment with the universe and therefore harness the energies around us to manifest our deepest desires. If there is something in this world you want, use the year of The Lovers to discover the true power of your inner world to impact the outer world and begin manifesting from the inside out.
Take responsibility for the way your choices impact the possibility of attainment and do it all from a place of deep love and acceptance.
When you hit a snag, come see me and we’ll get through it together.